Tuesday, May 29, 2007

THE LADY & SONS

He says:
By 3 pm, the line stretched all the way down the block, at least 200 people deep. It was nearly ninety degrees in the sun, maybe eighty-five in the shade, and the gelato in my right hand was dripping faster than a leaky faucet. A man came down the street selling cold bottled water from a cart, as if we were waiting in line at an amusement park. Most of us weren’t amused though, because we weren’t in line for a roller coaster. We were waiting to make a reservation at the Lady & Sons.

If you have ever visited Savannah, then you’ve definitely heard of – and probably dined at – the Lady & Sons. Owned by Paula Deen, the Food Network’s “Queen of Southern Cooking,” the Lady & Sons is by far the most popular restaurant in this beautiful city. Unfortunately, the crowds are totally out of control. Even worse are the rules the Lady & Sons have established to secure a reservation.

She says:
It’s a nice thought for a restaurant to not take reservations since it gives procrastinators a fair shot at a securing a table. On the flip side, it’s completely normal for a restaurant to take reservations. The Lady & Sons does neither. Or rather, both. They don’t take advance reservations, but they do allow you to line up several hours before a meal to try to obtain one. This, to me, makes no sense.

After standing in line for an hour and fifteen minutes, we reached the front, only to be told the dining room was full for the entire night. But if we returned at 6 pm, the maitre d’ said we might get a standby seat at the bar. We rushed back to our hotel, showered, changed, and hurried back to the restaurant. After another half hour, we got inside. “This food better be f***ing amazing,” I said to Downtown Boy.

He says:
After all that hassle, I was just glad to finally sit down. The décor of the Lady & Sons is country casual, with tall white walls and green wood paneling. A line of fans whirl in unison from the high ceiling. We got a nice window seat, which gave us a clear view of the crowds milling the street below, as well as the 30 empty tables nearby. Why, you may ask, were there 30 empty tables when hundreds of people are waiting outside for a seat? Probably for the same reason we were supposed to sit at the bar and somehow got window seats – nothing at this restaurant makes sense.

However, from our table I had an excellent view of the fried chicken sitting at the buffet table. Even though I had no intention of ordering the entire “Southern buffet,” I couldn’t resist trying the chicken. For $1.59, the waiter allowed me to snag a single drumstick. Price aside, it was pretty darn good. The golden brown skin held firm to the chicken and had a terrific balance of crunch, seasoning, and oiliness. The meat within was tender as well. Though I cannot proclaim myself a fried chicken expert, I believe the Lady & Sons’s is among the best around.

She says:
A bite of that chicken and a taste of the complimentary butter-soaked biscuits told me that yes, Paula Deen is the Queen of Southern cooking. Similarly, the fried green tomatoes were a perfect delivery system for the excellent fried batter. As Downtown Boy explained to me, nobody actually wants to eat green tomatoes… they are just something to fry. But Dish (in Virginia Highlands) has a version that is lightly fried and served with a small dollop of goat cheese. I was expecting something similar from the Lady & Sons … Southern food with a twist. This was merely a tastier version of Mary Mac’s.

For my entrée, I ordered the Savannah crab cakes. Were they worth an hour wait in the hot sun? Definitely not. I could barely force down the first crab cake I tasted – it had a dirty fishy taste, like the bottom of a swamp. Downtown Boy nibbled on the second crab cake on my plate and deemed it edible. It was better, but when I told our long-lost waiter of the disparity between the crab cakes, he had no sympathy. The bland rice & beans and dried, salted greens on the side weren’t worth eating.

He says:
I had better luck with the chicken pot pie. The chicken and vegetable broth was topped with a latticework of puff pastry, a tasteful French touch. The cream broth was a tad on the rich side (Uptown Girl commented there must have been an entire stick of butter in it) but after a long day of standing under the sun, I needed the extra calories. The Lady & Sons is generous with their hunks of chicken thigh, although I felt the dish needed much more broth to counterbalance that enormous pastry. At any rate, the pot pie was rich enough to eliminate any possibility of dessert. We were stuffed.

We say:
Paula Deen’s Southern cooking definitely puts Mary Mac’s to shame, but if you’re going to ask customers to waste their time to line up for Studio 54-style marketing, you have to deliver more than the goods … you have to deliver the greats. For those brave (or foolish) enough to eat at the Lady & Sons, do the smart thing: bring a bottle of sunscreen and order the fried chicken.

He says:
… but I’d think twice before coming back.


She says:




The Lady & Sons

102 W Congress Street, Savannah, GA 31401
http://www.ladyandsons.com/

Thursday, May 17, 2007

THE VARSITY

He says:
“What’ll ya have!? What’ll ya have!?” This is what the servers scream at you as you approach the order counter of the Varsity, the famous Atlanta grease-pit and world’s largest drive-in restaurant. I guess all the yelling is supposed to add to the Varsity’s rugged charm, but it’s rather disorienting for a first-time visitor. Besides, there are 8 types of hot dogs, 9 types of burgers, 9 different sandwiches, and a bazillion combo platters on their giant menu, so it’s hard enough deciding what to order without someone demanding every 3 seconds what’ll I have.

The Varsity is the apotheosis of your cheap, neighborhood diner: a multi-level, multi-room expanse of white Formica tables, napkin dispensers, and speckled black and white tile. Let’s just say if I were a teenager, I would be here every Friday night until 1 AM, probably talking about video games.

She says:
Not that my expectations were very high, but the Varsity’s food is just bad. I can best describe both the chicken fingers and fries I ate as miserably dry and shriveled. I alternated dousing each in honey-mustard sauce, BBQ sauce, and ketchup, but nothing seemed to help. The chocolate milkshake tasted artificial, certainly not chocolaty, and definitely not creamy. Most of it ended up in the garbage.

He says:
At the Varsity, you get what you pay for. The chili in my $1.85 chili cheeseburger was obviously from a can, tasteless and soaked through in neon orange oil. A thin slice of barely-melted American cheese sat on a tiny beef patty. My $2.05 chili cheese dog was equally bland. The one surprise of the meal was the onion rings, which were crunchy and greasy in all the right ways.

We say:
What’ll ya have? Better food, please.



The Varsity

61 North Avenue, Atlanta, GA 30308
www.thevarsity.com

Tuesday, May 8, 2007

CAMELI'S PIZZA

He says:
I was born and bred in New York City, so I can speak with some authority on pizza. And when it comes to pizza, some cities have it and some do not. Brooklyn has some of the best pizza in America. Manhattan has some of the worst. So does Boston. Chicago’s not bad if you dig thick crust.

Atlanta, I must say, is not a good pizza city. Between the soggy pies at Mellow Mushroom and the dreary offerings of Papa John’s, it’s hard to find a decent slice in this burg. That’s why I was excited to read several strong reviews on Cameli’s Gourmet Pizza, which some call the best pizzeria in Atlanta. When a fellow New Yorker said they served “a pizza-lover’s pizza,” I knew I had to check it out.

Cameli’s is located in that depressing Kroger complex on Ponce. The inside is standard pizzeria décor, with Formica tables and booths. For some reason there are windows hanging in front of the windows … don’t ask me why.

She says:
Downtown Boy and I, along with our two friends, ordered two specialty pizzas, the “Tranquilo” and the “Pax Americana.” Now I’m not from NYC, and I’m certainly no pizza connoisseur. I do, however, think that the “Tranquilo,” (with pesto, chicken, mushrooms and onions) was excellent. The subtle sweetness of the onions, paired with the zestiness of the pesto… blah blah blah… The pizza just tasted really good!

He says:
The Pax Americana (with sun dried tomato sauce, spinach, chicken, and feta) was alright, but definitely not up to par with the Tranquilo. The sun-dried tomato sauce was bland, and there wasn’t enough of it. This, combined with the over-baked crust, made for some seriously dry eating. I will give Cameli’s props for their attempt at thin-crust, which most pizzarias in Atlanta butcher.

I polished off the meal with “The Monster Slice,” which was the size of a kite. Seriously, it was the biggest slice of pizza I have ever seen. It was pretty good too, better than the Pax America, but once again the dry crust threw off the pizza’s otherwise fine balance of cheese and sauce.

We say:
Cameli’s is definitely better than any other pizza in Atlanta. But it doesn’t compare with Brooklyn’s best. And Cameli’s, if you’re listening, styrofoam cups are so out.



Cameli's Gourmet Pizza
699 Ponce De Leon Ave, Atlanta, GA 30308
http://www.camelispizza.com/

Tuesday, May 1, 2007

BARTLEY'S

He says:
I'm not a religious man, but for several years now I have been worshipping at Mr. Bartley's Burger Cottage, the high church of hamburgers located just off Harvard Square in Cambridge, MA. I used to visit Bartley's every month when I lived in Cambridge, and our recent trip there allowed me to introduce Uptown Girl to the best hamburger joint in America.

Bartley's has cramped quarters, hectic service, and no bathroom. It does have a bitchin' menu though. Where else can you find a Swiss cheese burger with mushrooms called "The John Kerry" (he voted this the best burger before he voted against it) or a double burger called 'The Arnold Schwarzenegger" (this is no girly burger)? The 20+ burger combinations at Bartley's are not only amusing, but delicious too. The first bite of a medium-rare burger is a miraculous moment -- the beef juices literally explode into your mouth. No other burger I've ever had does that. The meat itself has a perfect texture, tender with just the right amount of give, and the plain bun does an admirable job of sopping up the oozing grease.

She says:
I agree that the menu is very witty. I had "The Bill Clinton" (don't inhale) substituted with a veggie burger pattie. The burger was, well, it was a veggie patty covered in cheddar cheese and BBQ sauce. Tasty, but worth worshipping? Nah. You have to be a beef eater to worship a burger joint.

That said, the fries were crispy and delicious, much better than their flaky, barely-there onion rings.

He says:
I love Bartley's onions rings! They're sliced razor-thin and lightly breaded; I can eat a whole basket and not feel full. And the Oreo vanilla frappe is arguably the tastiest milkshake in America.

I will admit that Barley's can be maddeningly inconsistent. Burgers ordered rare may come out well-done. You'll have soggy fries one day and perfectly crisped ones the next. You may have to go to the bathroom, and you'll find yourself running down Mass. Ave in search of a public toilet while a stranger watches your table.

Even if Bartley's does miss the mark every now and then, all is eventually forgiven when you take that first bite of burger perfection and wipe the hot grease off your chin like the happy fool that you are.

He says:
Bartley's has the best burgers in America. Period.



She says:

How can a burger joint get five forks? For a cramped and crowded burger place with fine (vegetarian) food ...



Although I might add a fork just for the milkshakes.

Bartley's
1246 Massachusetts Avenue, Cambridge, MA 02138
http://www.mrbartley.com/